The Beat Of My Heart Is You
by TippieTurtle
Summary: A disastrous wedding, matching black eyes and finally, a dance between Jamie and Eddie.
1. Chapter 1

This story takes us into the minds of Jamie and Eddie while they were dancing in that fancy jazz club during S7E9. I hope you enjoy this version of what might have been going through our favorite duo's minds. Again, I must declare that I do not own Blue Bloods. If I did, I would not be writing and posting my stories here. :P

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"You ever think about what we might be giving up?" Jamie asked, fully aware of the weight of their conversation. There, in the middle of the jazz club, bodies touching as they swayed and moved to the music, they spoke of the topic that had to be placed on the back-burner.

"Yup," Eddie's bittersweet reply came after a pregnant pause. She knew how serious and hopeless their situation was. Her heart ached. For Jamie, for her, for them. For everything that could be and would never be between them. With one hand in Jamie's and the other resting on his chest, she decided then and there that she would continue this dance with him – both literally and figuratively. Her feelings for Jamie ran deep and she finally had confirmation that he felt the same for her. He had told her so after the Tara incident. That was enough for now. It had to be.

Jamie's heart felt heavy and his head filled with a confusing concoction of wanting the woman in his arms in every way a man could possibly want a woman, and needing for them to remain together while they worked because their partnership meant the world to him. Both were mutually exclusive categories. He could only have one, not both. The fragrance of the perfume she was wearing did not help matters as he was reacting to it most unprofessionally. It was messing with his ability to think logically. Heck, this whole evening was unprofessional. He had asked Eddie to meet him at the jazz club with the intent of making things up to her. He had behaved badly at the wedding they attended together. And because of it, they ended up having to spend the night sobering up in the Nassau County Detention Center with matching black eyes to show for his momentary lapse of judgement. Jamie knew the instant he asked her to be his plus-one that he was playing with fire and was likely to be burned. He thought he could handle it. That both of them could handle attending a wedding together as platonic friends. It was safe to say that he had misjudged again. He knew deep down what the ugly truth was, but was too embarrassed to admit it. Him jealous? No way. And his refusal to own up to it and deal with it sensibly with the object of his desire had caused both him and said object of his desire to be whisked off for an unforgettable night in a cold cell, compliments of the Nassau County Police Department. What a disaster. Hence his attempt at making things right. For her. He owed Eddie at least that much. Now that they were there, he wondered if he had made another mistake. It felt so good to have her in his arms. He never wanted to let her go. She belonged there. His heartbeat reflected this sentiment back to him and at the same time, reinforced the clouds of confusion in his head. What was he to do?

There was never a doubt in Eddie's mind that Jamie overreacted at the wedding because he was jealous. That, coupled with some hard liquor, proved to be his undoing. She had tried to reason with him, but to no avail. Before she knew it, punches started flying and people started screaming. Eddie likened it to a scene from a movie, a B-rated one at that. Just bad all around. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie… She knew he would never openly admit to being jealous, but she also knew he would do his best to make things right. That was just how he was wired. This Boy Scout who had suddenly gone rogue, would always remain a Boy Scout. Especially when it came to Eddie. In her mind, Jamie was her Boy Scout. That thought amused her and warmed her heart. But she knew that was all he could give her. Just a small glimpse of what could be. She locked all these away in her heart - her secret treasure chest of hopes of a future with Jamie, as so much more than just partners at work. Maybe someday. Maybe. Meanwhile, she would relish the time she had with him now, being held by him, so close. Sadly, it may never be repeated. Similar to the story, 'Cinderella', things would be very different the next morning. At least they could stay past midnight and not fear the spell they held each other under changing, unlike poor Cinderella. It was a good thing they did not need to report to work the next day. Their black eyes would raise more than just a few eyebrows at the precinct. As they continued to dance, Jamie kept her hand on his chest, as if he was afraid to let it go. It had to stay there. It was completely surreal - a sweet serendipity that was not meant to be. With Jamie's hand slowly moving up and down her spine, Eddie felt as if she was falling into a deep, deep reverie, where the only two people who existed were, Jamie and her. And that their hearts were beating as one. She surrendered to the moment and to Jamie. Allowing him to take her away in the spell she was sure he had unknowingly cast on her, on them.

Feeling wrapped up in the sensuous and comforting cocoon they had created for themselves, Jamie could not bring himself to let Eddie go. He did not realize how much he needed this until he experienced it first-hand. How could he let her go after tonight? Which man in his right mind would do as such? No one. But he had to. He knew that there was no other way about it. Eddie did not belong to him. In fact, she was still seeing Mr Breakfast Sandwich. That thought jolted Jamie. He was dancing so intimately with another guy's girl. Why had she agreed to meet him here when she was seeing someone else? Above and beyond all that, she was his partner at work. And things had to remain status quo for them to continue walking the beat together. For Twelve-David to continue thriving, they had to remain focused on their partnership and allow nothing to compromise it. Unfortunately, this was their lot in life. Perhaps they were destined to be star-crossed lovers. As sadly romantic as that notion seemed, Jamie refused to allow it to ruin tonight for her. For Eddie. Tonight was about making things up to her. He would not allow his bittersweet thoughts to get in the way. And truth be told, he could not help but be swept away by the sweetness of her presence in his arms. It was almost as if she was made for him, that they were made for each other. They moved in a rhythm that was all their own. So in-tuned with each other's movements, dancing with each other came as second nature to them. There was no awkwardness, no second guessing. They moved together instinctively. Their bodies knew exactly what to do, how to respond. And respond they did. To each other. Jamie's hand gently caressed the back of Eddie's dress in a manner parallel to a lover's touch. She was intoxicating him, simply by being Eddie. By accepting his invitation to dance. By being the stand-up cop she was. By having the guts to speak her mind. By forgiving him over and over again because he sometimes flew off the handle with her. His Eddie. How could he ever let her go? Jamie knew this was going to be a long-term situation. He had to learn to deal with it. If that was the only way he could spend most of his day with Eddie, he would take it. For now though, he willingly allowed himself to be swallowed by the heady blend of sweet closeness, intimate touches and their shared heartbeat. He arrived at the conclusion that his heart was beating for her. It was beating for Eddie.

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	2. Chapter 2

Hello Jamko fans! :) I have finally decided to continue this story. I did not originally plan on writing any more than the first part (now Chapter 1). It was supposed to be complete but, after many months, here it is - Chapter 2. My sincere apologies to those who were waiting for me to continue. I only hope the long wait is worth it. This will be continued - there will be a Chapter 3. However, I cannot promise a Chapter 4. Time is always a factor and work takes up so much of it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little chapter. And... I do not own Blue Bloods. I just write for the Jamko fandom. For free.

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With her heart heavy, Eddie quietly closed her front door and locked it. She stared at her feet, still covered in her seductive black heels, as her mind clouded over with thoughts of him, of them. What a beautiful night they had shared. Stolen moments only they carried in their hearts and minds, to be locked away, perhaps forever. Oh, how she wished things were different. Dancing with Jamie, lost in the bubble they created for themselves… It was dreamy, surreal, yet unmistakably them. Or a version of them she longed for. Her skin was still tingling from the way his hands moved across her back. And this, she sighed in exasperation, was with her fully clothed. Imagine what it would feel like if she was unclothed. But, that was dangerous territory. Way too dangerous. They had walked a very fine line tonight. Some would say they had crossed it, what with their intimate touches, the way they moved so snugly as they danced and how they looked at each other. Their attention completely focused on the other, both willing victims of the romantic ambiance of the jazz club and their own mutual desire. It would have been impossible not to drown themselves in each other's gazes. It was electrifying and comforting at the same time. Eddie sadly realized that they were stuck, that she and Jamie had been stuck in the same holding pattern for quite some time and neither one knew what to do about it. Such was their miserable situation. Letting go of their partnership was unthinkable but remaining partners meant they would have to leave their growing desire and affection for the other alone. Their lives were at stake. There was no room for anything other than objective thinking. No room for emotional entanglements of any kind. As cops, they knew they had to abide by this sacred rule. Their lives depended on it. And that was that. Eddie sighed again at the gloomy reminder of their predicament. She finally turned and walked slowly back to her bedroom. The magical spell both she and Jamie were caught up in not too long ago had faded and reality was setting in. They were not meant to be.

XXX

Jamie had never felt more helpless and hopeless as he sat in his car. He had waited till Eddie was safely tucked into a taxi before he left to get his car. In his bittersweet fog, he quietly touched her arm as they whispered goodnight and parted ways. He did not dare offer to drive her home. Both of them knowing full well where that could lead them. They had pushed the boundaries of their relationship far enough tonight. Any more pressure and something was sure to give. The safety of their partnership would be compromised in a manner that was irreparable. Instead of easing the discomfort of their sorry situation, tonight only added strength to their already strong magnetic pull towards each other. Who was he kidding? The woman he so desperately wanted, needed, was out of his reach. Well, he mused, she sat mere inches away from him every day, but they could not go 'there'. It was forbidden. He was not unaware that he never desired anyone the way he desired Eddie. And he was also fully aware that it was not because she was officially off-limits to him. It went beyond that. And that fact alone scared him. She meant so much more to him than she or anybody else would ever know. And having her next to him every day gave him comfort. They protected each other as only they knew how. Because they simply got each other. A partnership like that was rare, very much sought after. And they had it. Giving it up would mean losing a lifeline of sorts. They had built a trust and a relationship unlike any other partnership in their precinct. It was solidly dependable albeit tinged with an attraction which seemed to be getting stronger with each passing day. Both he and Eddie knew that they were caught between a rock and a hard place. But damn, he wanted so much more. He wanted to hold her close and keep her warm at night. He wanted to take her hand and hold it next to his heart and dance with her again. He wanted to kiss her gently, then passionately and make her lose her bearings until she could only depend on him to bring her over the edge of ecstasy and back to earth, safely in his tight embrace. He wanted all these and more. He wanted to be her everything. Just as she was his everything. He did not think she knew it, but she was indeed his everything. The gravity of this realization floored Jamie. It became very clear to him that he, that they, were in a very huge pickle. Dancing with Eddie tonight solidified his feelings for her. He did not intend for this to happen. However, he knew the risks when he made plans for them to meet at the jazz club. He played with fire. And the burn was oh so sweet. Jamie mentally kicked himself for being stupid, for being a glutton for this cruel punishment. It was not to be. They were not meant to be.

XXX

As Eddie readied herself for bed, she realized she had not checked her phone the entire evening. She had been preoccupied with a certain Reagan and had been caught up in the romantic vibes they were giving off. To the patrons of the club, they probably seemed like a young couple in love. And they would not have been far from the truth. It would be so easy to allow herself to simply fall in love with him. Perhaps she already was, but Eddie refused to permit herself believe it. She had to close that part of her heart which craved Jamie and all his affection. Eddie quickly shook her head as if to mentally chastise herself for letting her thoughts go this far. She then picked up her phone to see if anyone had contacted her. Josh did. Five times. His missed calls were logged, a grim reminder of his existence in her life. It was late and frankly, Eddie did not want to deal with Josh at the moment. She knew deep down that Jamie held her heart and everything in it. Perhaps it was time to let that go, hard as it was. How was she to move on unless she let that go? She had to let Jamie go. That very thought saddened her. Her heart ached for him, for them and everything that could be. Silent tears began to roll down her cheeks and Eddie did not try to stop them. She was just too tired of pretending.

XXX

Jamie pushed his key into the ignition and started his car, his thoughts only of Eddie. His beautiful partner. Was he being selfish for wanting her as his partner and as everything else? They knew of their feelings for each other. It was more than obvious tonight. And neither did a very good job at trying to hide them as they danced so closely together. It was an intimate exchange and they were more than cognizant of it. Jamie thanked God that there had not been anyone they knew present at the club, otherwise they would have had a lot to answer for. And they did not have any firm answers to everything that was going on between them, did they? As he drove, he thought about how their relationship grew to become what it was today. His spunky, opinionated and somewhat loud partner was also sweet, endearing and fiercely loyal. Slowly but surely, she grew on him and then, before he knew it, she was under his skin. Forever, he concluded, to remain so. And Jamie could not imagine living life any other way. Suddenly, as if struck by a lightning bolt, Jamie's resolution to keep their relationship professional, snapped. He inhaled deeply as his entire being filled with a sensation of warmth and renewed strength. Strength to want to work at whatever it took to make Eddie and him happen. To make 'them' happen. This feeling overwhelmed him and his lips curled in a smile. He wanted Eddie to be his. He wanted to love her in every capacity a man could love a woman. He wanted her to love him. And there it was. He loved Eddie. Jamie's heart was bursting and he knew of only one move he could make to resolve this. Whoa... Hang on a second. Josh was still in the picture, was he not? A hint of doubt, in the form of Mr Breakfast Sandwich, infiltrated his thoughts but he quickly pushed it aside. He had to see this through. He owed himself and more importantly, he owed Eddie at least that much. Jamie said a silent prayer and hoped it was not too late.

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	3. Chapter 3

Hey there, Jamko fans! This is Chapter 3 and the last installment of this story. I would like to sincerely thank all readers for sticking with me and with this story. Thank you also to those who have given me your valuable feedback and encouraging me along. :) Without further ado...

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With his mind made up, Jamie quickly turned his car into the direction of Eddie's apartment. Adrenaline pumped hard and fast through his body. It was as if the shades of his heart were unexpectedly lifted and it exposed who his soulmate was. She had been right next to him all this while, supporting him, calling him out whenever he was being a jerk and nudging him gently when he held back and was being overly cautious. Jamie had been too stubborn and most of all, too afraid to allow anything to get in the way of their near-perfect partnership, and a most endearing and beautiful friendship. But he knew she wanted more. Hell, he wanted more too. The black eye he was sporting was a result of him wanting more but not having the right to claim Eddie as his. He had been unable to contain his jealousy, his unhappiness at a situation he put himself in. He wanted Eddie all to himself, but what right did he have? And so, he had sulked and behaved appallingly. Bad call. However, he was now ready to admit the truth. To move their relationship forward and do what needed to be done in order to gain her forgiveness. As he steered his car onto the street her apartment was on, he felt his hands turn clammy. This is it, he thought. Throwing his car in park as soon as he found an available lot, he immediately exited and hurried to her apartment building. He had to man up tonight, even at the risk of having his heart broken.

XXX

A sudden buzz jarred Eddie. What the heck? She was certainly not expecting company this late in the night. Haphazardly, she swiped the back of her hand over her tear-streaked cheeks. Gosh darn it. She seriously considered ignoring whoever it was trying to get her attention and be allowed into her building and quite possibly into her apartment. However, her phone started buzzing too, indicating an incoming text message. A quick look at her phone revealed who it was attempting to see her. Oh shucks, she thought. With a sigh, she allowed him in. Eddie had precious little time to dry her tears and compose herself before her guest would be knocking on her door. She vowed to end this charade, right here and now. It was time to come clean and cut her losses, once and for all. Her heart and mind were tired of this game. She needed a break. She needed to heal.

XXX

"Eddie. I've been…," he started,

"Josh, please come in," Eddie did not let him finish, but instead gestured for him to enter her apartment. She supposed he had been worried when she did not pick up or return his calls. She quietly shut the door and turned to face Josh. He did indeed look worried and upset. Then, he took a step closer to Eddie and frowned when he saw her bruised eye. Eddie realized how she must look to Josh.

"Happened while I was away at that wedding. Don't worry, Josh. I'm all right," she assured him.

"Hey, listen…" Eddie continued. "I'm glad you're here. We need to talk." She started moving towards her living room when Josh stopped her.

"Did you go to the wedding with him? With Jamie?" Josh asked harshly.

Eddie turned around sharply and stared silently at Josh. Guilty as charged. Her non-response prompted Josh to carry on. "So you went out of the city for a few days to attend a wedding with your partner. Somehow you failed to mention you had a date."

"He wasn't my date. We didn't go as each other's dates, Josh," Eddie explained. True, she did leave out certain aspects of the arrangements when she told Josh she was going out of town to attend a wedding. She did not include the part where Jamie would also be attending the wedding and she definitely left out the fact that she was Jamie's 'plus one'. That was all on her.

"You and Jamie. Does he have anything to do with your black eye?" Josh was relentless with his probing, not that Eddie blamed him. But, she did not feel like going into detail about the how and why of the outrageously disastrous incident. That would be unnecessary roughness for all parties involved.

"Look, I think we, you and I, have to stop seeing each other. I'm sorry, Josh. I truly am. If you are wondering if I'm seeing Jamie behind your back, the answer is no. I've never cheated on you. Jamie and I work together, and we have a very good working relationship. It gets complicated sometimes, as many work relationships do," Eddie tried to explain without giving away too much information. Everything she was telling Josh was true. "But Jamie aside… Josh, you and I… This isn't working out," Eddie said apologetically.

"I see. What a coincidence that this is happening right after you get back from the wedding with him." Josh's reply was dripping with accusation.

Eddie shut her eyes and tried again to reason with Josh. She was getting very tired, feeling very drained. "I'm sorry. That's all I have to offer you, Josh. I'm sorry."

Josh was dead silent as he looked at Eddie. His eyes fixed onto hers and his face contorted in pain and anger. After what seemed like forever, he turned and walked out of Eddie's apartment, and out of her life.

Eddie could not bear any more sadness tonight, any more guilt. She was solely responsible for hurting Josh. Of this, there was no doubt. It did not make her feel good to know she was the cause of his pain. But she also knew she had to be honest with herself. Until she could get over Jamie, she could not date anyone in good conscious. That stubborn Irish guy had a hold on her heart so strong, she was completely clueless as to how she was ever going to get over him. It was just so heart-breaking that they could not do anything about it.

XXX

Jamie walked briskly towards the familiar building, his heart beating wildly, as if on fire. It was already very late, but he had a hunch Eddie was still awake. He had to see her and lay his cards on the table again. This time though, he was willing to trade them all in. For her. For all of her. As he approached the control panel of the building intercom lock system, he took several deep breaths in a bid to slow his heart-rate, to calm down. His love for his partner and friend warmed him and he needed for her to know how he truly felt and the lengths he was willing to go to for them. It was time to turn the page. They, actually, he, had been delaying the inevitable for a very long while. It was now time.

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As Eddie sat on her couch trying to come to terms with the chaos in her heart about Jamie and the remorse she felt because of what she had to do with Josh, her intercom buzzed. Good grief. What did Josh want now? She guessed that he was still mad with her and that her apology had not been sufficient. But she was not about to go there again. Eddie squeezed her eyes shut, foolishly willing him to go away. She was done with Josh and though she blamed herself for this, she did not think it was necessary, or wise to speak to him again when she had already offered her sincere apology. Then, she heard his voice.

"Eddie, it's me."

Eddie's eyes flew open and she jumped up. Shock and surprise etched in her face and her heart seemed to lurch forward. Jamie.

XXX

"Eddie, I know it's late. But…," Jamie suddenly hesitated, not knowing how to express himself, especially over the intercom. "May I please come up?" he asked, his voice quivered, his confidence slipping and he did his best to hold fast to whatever was left. Eddie sensed that something was up with Jamie. Call it intuition, but Twelve-David did not get to be one of the strongest partnerships in the precinct if not for their acute awareness and distinct perception the pair had for each other. Both Jamie and Eddie knew each other so well. It was one of the reasons why their partnership was so hard to let go. But there they were. Up the creek with only their hearts to guide them away from the rapids of more heartache and dashed hopes.

Eddie placed her fingers on a button on her intercom security panel and gave it a push. Her heart raced, and she tried in vain to calm herself down. Something was definitely up with Jamie and she started to agonize as to what it was. She moved swiftly to her front door and opened it. There, she stood in the hallway anxiously waiting for Jamie, the man who held the key to her heart.

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Jamie emerged from the elevator and promptly made his way to Eddie's apartment. He could not seem to get there fast enough. As he rounded the corner, he abruptly stopped. His eyes took in the sight before him – Eddie waiting for him, feet covered in warm fuzzy socks, wearing sweatpants and his old Harvard t-shirt. Eddie, with her face cleaned of makeup and looking tired, yet so beautiful. So very, very beautiful. Her blue eyes sought his and he found himself being drawn to them, to her. Like a moth to a flame. Jamie managed to move his feet slowly towards Eddie and soon, they were standing toe to toe, personal space forgotten. He could see concern in her eyes and he wondered if her eyes were reflecting what she saw in his. But mixed in with concern, he saw hope and friendship and … Love. He saw love. Gently, he took her hands in his, his eyes still locked on hers. Then, Jamie leaned forward and let his lips touch her forehead in a soft kiss before he dipped his head and rested his forehead on hers.

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Eddie's fear slowly faded when she saw Jamie walking towards her, his eyes searching hers. He moved to her in a slow gait, allowing her to assess him. He appeared distressed, yet hopeful. Troubled, yet fearless and ready to take on the truth. Eddie's heart melted. He was there for her. And this was further confirmed when she felt him take her hands into his and felt his warmth, felt his love for her. Her eye closed when his lips touched her forehead and she was swept away in a cloud of love. Their love. Time stood still and it was almost as if everything was finally falling into place for them. Both Jamie and Eddie realized that this was what they needed and had been waiting for, for a very long time. Denial gave way to acceptance. Fear and trepidation evaporated and what was left behind was pure joy and a shared willingness to commit to their happiness, come what may.

"What took you so long, Reagan?" she asked in a whisper, her eyes still closed.

"I got held up at stupidity and fear," Jamie whispered his reply, and Eddie could not help but smile.

"What about work? Our partnership?" she asked, pulling herself away and opening her eyes to look at him.

Jamie tightened his grip over her hands, assuring her of his dedication and devotion to them. "We will work it out with the precinct. Eddie, it scares me to think of us not being able to ride together day in and day out. But, not being able share moments like this with you, not being able to touch you, hold you and come back to you after work is done… I don't think I can do that anymore. I love you, Eddie. You're my soulmate. You. And I'm sorry I pushed you away time and time again. I'm so sorry."

Moved by his confession and declaration, Eddie reached up and brushed his cheek with her hand. Her touch light and soft and oh so bewitching, so comforting. Jamie tilted his head to allow her greater access to his face, to allow him greater access to her loving touch.

"I love you, too, Jamie. And thank you for this, for showing me your heart," Eddie softly said to Jamie, her own heart overflowing with happiness. "You, Boy Scout, are a real pain sometimes. But I'm so glad you're my Boy Scout and my pain," she added with a small laugh as Jamie rolled his eyes.

With love and tenderness evident in the way they looked at each other, both Jamie and Eddie leaned in and their lips met, giving each other a taste of what the rest of their lives held for them. It was finally their turn at romance and open affection. At love and happily ever after.

Jamie and Eddie. Eddie and Jamie. Any way you look at it, they were one.

XXX


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